Do you ever long for a quiet, “normal” life? I do. I have never enjoyed adrenaline rushes. Who in their right mind actually thinks that going on a roller-coaster is a good idea? I just don’t get it. Personally, I hate them. I haven’t gone on very many, and I have no intention of changing that. They aren’t natural. So why does it feel like life is just one roller-coaster after another? I get off one, take two steps, and find myself strapped into another one. Sometimes, all I can do is hang on for dear life and pray fervently that God will let me feel firm ground under my feet again. Don’t get me wrong… I am not wanting a boring life, but I prefer to find my excitement in the form of a book.
While we all find the action-packed life of a character in a book (or movie) thrilling, very few of us would actually enjoy living their life. You know those books we all read as kids? The ones that had about a hundred in the series, all with the same main characters (who never grew any older, by the way), with a new adventure each time? Well, even as a kid I thought they were very unrealistic. (After all, how many murderers and kidnappers can one twelve-year-old really be expected to help capture?) But as I look back over the years, I sometimes think my life resembles those corny books. No, I haven’t ever come upon an unidentified body washed up on the shores of some lake or beach. No, I haven’t ever stumbled across an ancient treasure map stashed in a random library book. And no, I haven’t ever had a serial killer on my trail (at least, not that I know of). But I have had enough adventures in my life to write my own book series. The only problem is, the stories wouldn’t work for kids because not all of them have what we would call a happy ending.
It was in Aug 2014, at the beginning of one of those “adventures”, that I created this piece.
Beauty in the Midst of Darkness
I titled it Beauty in the Midst of Darkness, and I drew it as both a reminder and a commitment. A reminder that God is faithful to give beauty during every situation, no matter how dark and ugly it may seem. And as a commitment to always look for the beauty, especially when it was hardest to find.
A little while after I completed Beauty in the Midst of Darkness, I began Joy in the Midst of Darkness.
Joy in the Midst of Darkness
This piece seemed appropriate as God was continuing to give our family joy in the middle of the intense pain we were experiencing.
I knew that I needed a third piece and that I couldn’t stop with just two, so I began the process of drawing out another orchid picture. For some reason, I had barely started working on it when I chose to put it aside for another time. I don’t completely remember why I stopped, but I think part of it was that the piece just wasn’t speaking to me. I hate to use that as an excuse for not doing something, but this time I think it was true. With my first piece, other than the concept, I honestly didn’t think about what I was doing. I just did it. My next piece was a little more deliberate, a little more thought out, but it still came naturally. This one though was different. It was forced. I felt as though I was fighting against the colors (not a normal feeling for me). So, I guess when I had to put it aside, I really had no interest in picking it up again. Anyway, it was over five years before I pulled it out again.
White flowers are never actually “white”. These are the colors I used in my latest orchid drawing.
During the past school year, as I have watched the progress of our students’ artwork, I have felt a need (yes, need) to pick up the colored pencils myself and use them. I really didn’t have the time to start a new piece, and yet the longing continued to grow stronger. Suddenly, around the first of March, I remembered the orchids, and I knew the time had come to dig it out. It was the perfect piece for what I was going through, and I already knew what I was going to title it.
Life was feeling chaotic and out of control, and very dark. It felt as though the darkness was pressing in from every side. At times, it seemed to be winning. I know the truth. I know that light always triumphs over darkness (even when we can’t see it) and that God is victorious, but sometimes the darkness becomes so overwhelming it can be hard to remember. There is a heaviness it brings, and it begins to suffocate. Panic or despair often follows. I needed another reminder in my life. And I needed to state the truth. God will bring peace even during the darkest situation.
This time, as I worked on it, the colors came naturally to me. I wasn’t fighting against the piece, instead, it was almost as easy as breathing. Honestly, it’s hard for me to understand how I could have ever hit a roadblock with this one. I could have worked on it for hours without getting tired. Of course, I didn’t often have hours to devote to it. Sometimes I was only able to grab fifteen minutes at a time, usually late at night before heading to bed. Once, while just standing looking at it for a minute, I found myself holding our two-year-old foster child in one arm while adding a few touches to one of the flowers. Another time, I sat on the ground with my art in front of me. It wasn’t the most comfortable way to work, but it was hard to resist picking up my pencils, and there wasn’t any space at the table.
As I continued to work on the orchids, I began to realize how appropriate this theme was/is for the time we all find ourselves in. When I pulled it out with the concept of Peace in the Midst of Darkness, I honestly had no thought of the coronavirus, social distancing, or a toilet paper shortage. I was acknowledging that God is the only source of peace, but my reason for that statement came from a completely different situation. As unrest continued to grow worldwide though, I became increasingly grateful each time I picked up my pencils for the reminder of where true peace can be found.
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”
It’s a crazy world I live in, on so many levels. Often, I will find myself desperately wanting the ride to stop so I can step off the roller-coaster, but I have no control over it. I can’t stop it myself. What I can do though, is rest in the assurance that I serve the God who is in control. That is how I can find peace in the midst of darkness. It’s not easy. I am constantly dragging myself back to this place. But it is true. God is in control. He knows what He is doing, and His plans are always best. And that knowledge brings peace.
Peace in the Midst of Darkness
“These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
~Elisabeth~